What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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