Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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