Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
