he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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