I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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