the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
