Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well I just put wine in my tea
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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