i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
