Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
