i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
