Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize