You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
