Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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