I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
