I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
