I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
