At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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