your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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