OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my poor anus
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dear god my vagina.
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