I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
