problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
