dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
