your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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