Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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