That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
