I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
