after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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