Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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