I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
