you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
two words: eviction party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
