i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
