I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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