you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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