And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
