Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
