Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
