even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
