so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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