Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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