No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
