): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
