Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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