Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
there was a trapeze. enough said
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
