i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
