tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
