I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
