Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
