i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
