craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
