You work out of a Hotel?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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